new photos...

Don't live life in fear...

Random lyrics that keep popping into my brain as I am writing a paper, while at work...don't worry, the kids are in bed. :)

"Be strong in the Lord and,

Never give up hope,

You're going to do great things,

I already know,

God's got His hand on you so,

Don't live life in fear,

Forgive and forget,

But don't forget why you're here,

Take your time and pray...."

-Sidewalk Prophets-

check it out.

a dear friend showed me this when i really needed it. you know who you are and now every one else can enjoy it too. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO50jHl2LLY

Guiding Light

by 

Foy Vance 

find your focus...

what are you doing all of this for?

find your focus.

find your hope.

life is...

overwhelming.
difficult.
joyous.
exhausting.
happy.
full.
passionate.
fun.
exciting.
nerve raking.
confusing.
filled.
blessed.
persistent.
colorful.
good.
beautiful.
longing.
frustrating.
unfair.
hard.
fulfilling.
rewarding.
deciding.
guiding.
interesting.

the list could go on and on. these are a few things that "life is..."currently to me. it seems like i am in a constant state of "life is..." and i know that life never stops being any of these things but at times it seems as though they only intensify, leaving me exhausted and puzzled by what is going on. currently i feel like i am surviving, not thriving, not succeeding, not achieving, nothing...i am simply surviving. my head is not even above water and i don't know what to do but daily get up and try my best to accomplish something...when the list of "to dos" keeps growing and growing with no end in sight. even as i write this i can think of a million different things that need to get done and i won't have time for all of them. it is my own fault and i blame no one else but these last 4 months i have felt very overwhelmed. God must be doing something cause i am being stretched and grown.

how will things begin to make sense?

Lord, please continue to lead me and guide me even when i do not know the way. show me what your will is for my life. may you be honored and glorified in all that i do. may my yes always still remain a yes as long as i serve you.

A great quote...

There are times in life when God doesn't have to calm the storm but rather he decides to calm us. When we are in the midst of a great fog and not knowing which way to go, God is there beside us calming our spirits saying, "Trust me just place your hand in mine, I know the way." I feel that way, my hand is resting in my heavenly Father's hand and through this fog he is guiding me. One day the fog will clear and everything will make more sense but for now I wait. And my answer is, "Yes, Lord, wherever, yes, wherever you lead I shall go." 

Lord, lead me. In you I trust. 

A Letter of Thanks...

Family and Friends,

At this time of year I am continually reminded of the faithfulness of so many in my life. I am touched by the blessings that God has placed in my path. My parents are a blessing and a gift that I continual thank God for the family I had the privilege of being raised in. God blessed me with a sister who challenges me to see the world in a different light than I would normally view it and friends who support and love me despite all of my odd quirks and views of the world.  In the year 2011, I am especially thankful for the giving of all of you to my overseas ministry and to my missional call. God has provided me with a support structure that has sustained me throughout the highs and lows of overseas missional work.

As you are aware within the past four months I have returned from a year in the Republic of Ireland, where I served alongside locals at a church in Greystones. This past year has been a very pivotal time in my life, one where I have see growth and a stretching of myself beyond anything I could possibly imagine. Upon returning to the states a renewed passion and vigor for Christ’s work in all people throughout the world has been laid upon my heart.

A particular burden for the people of Europe is being fanned in my heart and I desire to daily relinquish that burden to God, allowing his guidance to help it grow. To fully understand my burden/passion for Europe I need to start from the beginning of my journey to follow Christ to the Republic of Ireland almost 482 days ago.

On August 17^th, I was in the backseat of my parent’s car on the way to the airport. As I sat there I was thinking, “I don’t have to go, I can just tell my parents to turn the car around and it is a quick trip home. No harm done.” At that moment my mom turned around and said, “You know you can always stay here. You don’t have to go.” And I thought, yes I do have to go. My heart swelled with an overwhelming sense of terror at the unknown that was waiting for me but I knew that whatever waited, I needed to go. God had something for me.

While traveling over I met up with my teammate Dustin (I had only met him once for about three hours) in Frankfurt for a three-hour layover and then the final leg into Dublin’s international airport. Upon arrival in Dublin we met some opposition in regards to our entering the country. Both Dustin and I were detained in immigrations for over an hour and the officers made it known that they were not happy about our entering their country. At this point I kept talking to God and said, “Didn’t you want us here? Then you work it out.” The officers eventually allowed us to enter under the understanding that we were to seek more permanent visas within thirty days.

The first couple of weeks were centered on the unknown. Visa issues kept coming up. Neither of us knew where we were to stay. We, as a team, did not know why we were in the country, why we were sent to Greystones. For thirty days my brain was full of what ifs and doubts about coming to Ireland. Maybe I should have listened to my mother and stayed home. God once again came through in this area, the immigration official finally granted us twelve-month visas to remain in Ireland. Lesson number one: God doesn’t call you where he can’t sustain you.

After we knew we would be in the country for longer than thirty-days random doors started opening for both Dustin and I to find places to serve within our community. I settled into a knitting/crocheting group that met every Monday for three hours, started volunteering with the youth in Greystones’ church, began shopping in the community establishing relationships with local shop owners, building relationships with peers my age at the local church, hiking/exploring the community I lived in and exploring what possibilities God had for ministry during my time on the Green Isle. Lesson number two: God has a plan. Be patient.

During the “patient” times, God started tugging at my heart and prompting me to open up to more of the ministry possibilities he had for my life. At this point I could not conceive what the road ahead of me might look like, I only knew that I must be faithful. It is difficult to summarize all of my experiences over the last sixteen months, so I tried to compile a list of God’s faithfulnesses and his provisions throughout my time in Ireland. I say tried because it is difficult to put into words exactly all of the things God did for me because there is not enough room on this page. Lesson number three: God is much bigger than the boxes we put him in.

God’s faithfulness	God’s provisions
Enough money to pay the bills	Friendship
Strength when missing family	Laughter
Internet for communication with loved ones	Warmth, even on the coldest night
Opportunities to minister to non-believers	Food
A home away from home	New opportunities for growth
New church family	Fun
Safe travels	Smiles from children at church
Saw the start of new ministry	A great teammate
God was always there (even in dark times)	Preaching opportunities
Fellowship	Learning moments of grace
Lent (Daniel Fast)	Happy Pear
Each day was a new day	A vast sea outside my window (Beautiful)

Now fast forward to the present and where am I now? After returning from Ireland, I found myself back in Kansas City, Missouri continuing my education towards ordination within the Church of the Nazarene. Only upon my return have I begun to process what God did during my time in Ireland. I come back with a renewed sense of purpose, with a focus to follow whatever path God has laid out before me, and to be able to daily say “yes” to God’s calling upon my heart.

Ireland will always be a part of me and I look forward to the doors that may open for me in the future in relation to ministry opportunities in Europe. God sent me to Europe for a reason and I am excited to see what those reasons might be in the future. For now I am still learning the mini-lessons with God that contribute to greater masterpiece of my life.

Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for you contributing to all of these growth opportunities. May you all be richly blessed in the seasons to come! Remember the God we serve is faithful in all times and works for good, we just have to trust through the learning times! For his placement of you in my life, I am thankful!

Grace and Peace,

Hannah

If you would like to follow the journey God has me on, please feel free to check out my blog or send me an email and I would gladly send you updates on my random adventures. I know God is not through with me yet and for that I am thankful!

Blog: lifeistooshortnottolive.blogspot.com

Email: hbmiss@gmail.com

Missionaries from America now serving in Ireland Steve and Annette Morley

I had the privilege of beginning the journey with their family that lead this wonderful couple to Ireland. Both Steve and Annette visited Greystones in November and felt the call of God to move to Wicklow, which is about a twenty-minute drive from Greystones.

God provides friends in such random places. I had the opportunity to travel with these women to the Netherlands for a Nazarene Youth Conference. Gillian Birnie (far left), and Elli Wallace (behind the red tulip) became two of my closest friends. God knew I needed the support of fellow Christian females and he faithfully provided. I miss these girls very much! Gillian is now serving in Kosovo for a year as a volunteer.

Dustin Wine (my teammate) and I with Pastor Erich Fischer in New Castle, Northern Ireland for a pastor’s fraternal.

Both Dustin and I had the privilege of being mentored by Pastor Erich during out time in Ireland. Pastor and his family moved from Germany three years ago to serve as full time ministers to the church in Ireland. He is the only Nazarene pastor serving in Ireland.

Ireland has lovely Georgian doors throughout the city of Dublin. Each door is unique and has a special glass buttress that rests above the doorframe.  As guided by God doors of ministry are opening in Ireland for the light of the gospel message to spread. There is a great stirring of God’s people and it only a matter of time before a revival starts. Ministers of the gospel are knocking on doors and seeking new areas of ministry each and every day. As unique as each of the Georgian doors is, so are the people being ministered to, and the hope is each person would have a personal encounter with the living God.

Pray for the ministry of “open doors” because where there is an open door there is an open heart as well!

While in Ireland I had the opportunity to go to two special events. All-Ability Camp, which is a camp specifically for adult with developmental needs and to Disney World in Orlando, with seven lovely women as a sponsor for a lady with developmental needs. God placed both of these events in my life to show me different ways of ministry and the beauty of everyone. God doesn’t make mistakes and the mistakes humanity sees in the world are the most beautiful creations of God.

(The picture above is of Beverley Smith and I during All-Ability Camp. She patiently taught me Irish Sign-Language during my year. Beverley is a gem of God’s and I am blessed to call her my friend.)

(Picture Right: Is the group of Irish ladies I had the pleasure of traveling with to Orland for two weeks. There were four helpers and four lovely women.)

a challenge...

seems like life enjoys setting up opportunities for growth and challenge. things that will try and test our abilities to the very point of breaking, it is in this breaking process that all the fun begins....how you slightly less optimistic people might ask, well i shall simply respond with, with hope, faith and unconditional love.

a challenge to myself would be for the next three weeks i will focus my postings with ideas/concepts or ponderings that center about a specific topic for that week.

week 1: hope
week 2: faith
week 3: unconditional love

things may change a little but for the most part be looking for words on those three topics :)

and a few more exciting things....God is asking me to say something and i am gonna try to do my best at making his words known and then spoken through me...

God will never leave you!

don't know or understand but okay...

God is teaching me a lot! And I love it!

Things I am thankful for today:

-God's provision in all areas of my life
-Friends
-Family
-Warmth
-Health
-Safety
-Freedom
-Joy
-Laughter
-Silly adventures with friends
-TWO PENNIES! :)
-Photos (West Bottoms, Kansas City)
-Growth
-Smiles


Sneak Peek of West Bottoms photo-shoot with friends today...

days like this...

today shall be busy.

-God time this morning=best way to start the day.
-Slowly getting ready=amazing! :)
-Girl's "craft" morning at College Church of the Nazarene.
-Thinking of new name for "craft" morning=a must.
-quick lunch in the car as i drive to loose park.
-photo-shoot at loose park with a family of 3 and a sister, don't forget the dog.
-drive to meet my roommate and katie for 75% off Old Navy outerwear.
-coffee at Starbuck's for BOGO=yummy holiday flavors.
-homework/finish a paper.
-girl's movie night with spaghetti and chick-flick.
-homework.
-thankful for my life.

God is so good!

A PROMISE

no matter how many people let you down there is one who will NEVER let you down...for that fact i am forever thankful, even though i do not always show it. today i am thankful for a Saviour who loves me more deeply than anyone.

you are my rock, you are my refuge, you are the one in whom i trust. 

Lord, please give me your eyes to see and break my heart for what breaks yours. may i seek to live more like you every day. teach me to love as you would have me love. 

there is this thing...

called hope.

called faith.

called trust.

called understanding.

called passion.

called kindness.

called joy.

called happiness.

called freedom.

called creation.

called life.

called wisdom.

called friendship.

called...........................................................................................love.

last night i was thinking about what it truly means to reflect Christ into the world. it would be as though we were looking through a mirror and finding in ourselves the reflection of Christ. we (at least i know i do this) begin to distort the very image of Christ because we try to conform to our own ways of doing things, to conform to the happenings of the world, and try to do it all on our own. we miss out of the unexplainable joy of partnering with Christ in the Great Commission, we lose sight of the cross because we are too focused on what the world wants or tells us to become, when Christ has already made it clear. the Bible lets us know what Christ's intentions were by coming to earth and thus leading a life of example to the created ones.

there is so much more to this following Christ thing, and i desire to know full heartedly what it means to be a Christ-like disciple. hopefully as the days of by i will begin to know more of what he is directing me towards. may i learn to love, live, and be more like Christ.

slow

buenos noches luna. :)

here is another good listen from a group i recently discovered....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgLZZViOV2A

nothing...

yeah today was not so hot. it was kinda one of those days that no matter how hard you work at something it just never turns out right. photos wouldn't edit right, no homework done, sewing project FAIL, no painting, no drawing, no anything...it was super busy and yet nothing to show for it all. just one of those nights that i go to bed feeling extremely defeated and blah...nothing too spectacular here.

just venting. the trees were lovely today. it is always a joy driving down the road and seeing the last glimpse of color surrounded by so much brown. it is as though the leaves are saying, "holding on just a little bit longer to the hope that is inside." so no matter how frustrated i am, i shall sleep with the hope that still sings in my heart. tomorrow i can try to focus on what needs to be done. try to finish strong and try to understand the way in which God is leading me. may his will ALWAYS be done in my life.

night, world. till the morrow, rest well.

up too late :)

up extremely late editing some photos, like some of them and don't like other ones...gonna change a few and will up-load more later to my facebook album. need to focus more on school work eventually but why when editing is so much fun, even if I am rubbish at it. i still enjoy it.

here are a few of the ones i have edited:

a company was started tonight...welcome to bird-eye photography

raining....

love the sound of rain on the roof...it is refreshing. long day at work and nothing too exciting. just a good day full of small blessings. the kids were in good moods and the weather reminded me of a place i love dearly and miss even more. one day soon i will return to your shores and things will feel complete again. until then know i miss all of you dearly and shall be seeing you soon. miss you. you all know who you are. and i can't wait for a good chipper. :)

random thought for the day: what is the longest palindrome? 

CHALLENGE: where is this picture from? 

Today was the first of hopefully several photo shoots I hope to start doing. My love of photography and the need to express myself creatively has now translated into a passion to create...and turn it into a life! :) Thank you Early sisters for being patient with me and for being so lovely! 

Artsying

Sir William Blake said, "I must create a system or be enslaved by another man's. I will not reason or compare: my business is to create." 

How great is our creator? He is truly in the business of making all things perfect in His timing! 

Beautiful night sky in Leawood, Kansas! 

Thank you God for painting the night skies for us! 

Hope...

Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul, 

and sings the tune without the words, 

and never stops at all. 

- Emily Dickinson-

Happening again...

Recently my creative juices have been flowing and I have found myself "artsying" more. Yes, for all of you intelligent people out there, I made up a word. :) "Artsying" by definition is the state at which you are creating something beyond what you expected with advantageous results. Basically it is another word for "crafting". The term crafting sounds boring and old, so I just simply made up a new one word. Enjoy being able to due such things!

Well, I am going to start writing more because God is showing me so many wonderful things and allowing me space for "artsying" and I just wanna share. So, look forward to finding things about art, music, the Bible, God, nature, pictures, random thoughts, fashion, travel, food, drama, shows, plays, dogs, cats, and anything else that may happen to come to mind. Please feel free to ask any questions and I will try my best to respond...

For tonight...drum roll please....

- Heard this song as I was driving home from work and it spoke right to where I am at in my walk with God

       It is a good one, so listen up...it is called "Busted Heart" by for King and Country

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K44DPMA5HnY

Aiden...

Waking up this morning early, I looked out my window to a beautiful sunrise over the water that is seen from bedroom window (I know I am spoiled)! God has truly blessed me with an amazing place to live...the water reminds me of renewal and the cleansing of all the pain and suffering I have been trudging through for the past couple of weeks. It reminded me of the depths of His love for me, His willingness to suffer for me, and His willingness to let me be a small child that splashes about in the pool for a while and then realizes that the Father knows best! :)

After getting ready I went to walk into town and realized that out my window on Bray Head (which is a natural walking path from one village to the next) was experiencing difficulties with smoke ventilation, a.k.a. It was on FIRE! Throughout the day it just got worse and no one seems to be doing anything about it...the flames have engulfed the majority of one side of the mountain and potentially a second. The flames are out of control! This made me stop and think...what if Christians lived the same way this fire was. As in living to spread the word of God, living to be the light to the world (the fire would have been seen by two villages and over 40,000 people), what if Christians didn't care what other people thought? What if we let our lives be so consumed with God that other people would just stop and stare? (Now that might be weird at times but how incredibly COOL!!!)

What if we lived a life for God?

A day to remember...

Who ever would have thought that I would be sitting in Ireland with cow slippers on watching my grandfather's memorial service? Not this one...not I. But God is stronger than the bogey man and so he will get me through this.

My Papa was an amazing man and I miss him but know he is not in pain anymore! Love you PAPA with all my heart!

Here is what I wrote to be read at his memorial service:

It is difficult to know fully what to say or exactly how to say it because it all seems a little surreal at the moment, as I am sure you all feel the same way.

Papa was, shall we say a unique man with many interesting qualities. I remember when I was little he was always trying to make up stories about how some animal had it out for me, to tell you the truth I was terrified of going in the back field because of what might be out there to get me. Papa was always good for a laugh.

Or one night my family and I had come for a visit and we all decided to go out to Chinese. Kelsie, Tyler, John and Mary Lynn were all there as well, so it was a big party and we were going to celebrate. Well while partaking in our wonderful meal, Papa decided to show off his magical talent of being able to eat one of the spiciest peppers out there. We all watched and waited for Papa to make an utter fool out of him. Papa took the pepper in his normal confident and ever so slight cocky style…we all watched but nothing happened. And then we waited, and waited and waited. Still nothing happened then all of a sudden Papa’s brow started to look shiny and his face was about the shade of a man who had been in the sun too long. Then he said that “darn pepper” burnt a whole in my tongue. We all busted up laughing! J It was hilarious! Papa continued to sweat for the longest time and we went on enjoying our meal while Papa nursed his aching tongue.

Every time I had the privilege of visiting Papa and Grandma, we always did fun and exciting things. Like camping, even though Rachel didn’t like the woods too much. Or I came to visit and they dressed me up in proper cowgirl clothes and we went to the rodeo, where we saw bull riders, cowboys and ponies! J Or the time I came down for Spring Break with one of my Brazilian friends and we were allowed to stay up really late! Or the time we got lost for 6 hours on the backside of a mountain because I told Papa to go the wrong way. We did go out for a nice dinner after that and we eventually had a good laugh. J

Papa also volunteered to be a model for me. Yup, I bet all of you never thought Papa would be a model did you? Well he was a good handbag model! One day I was making purses at the kitchen table and Papa was in a rather good mood and decided that he was going to model my new creations by strutting around the kitchen. I couldn’t stop laughing; I even have photos to prove it. It was quite possibly one of the funniest things I had seen in a while. Never knew Papa had it in him!

Knowing Papa he wouldn’t want a lot of flowery words or drawn out speeches, he would want us to remember him with stories. So hopefully these stories have brought back good memories for some and showed Papa to be the wonderful, caring and spirited man that we all knew him to be.

Papa, I will miss you dearly and hope you have found rest from pains of your illness. So many people will remember you fondly and they will miss you for ages to come. Know I love you dearly and miss you terribly but pray that you have found rest! Love you, Papa!

A hole...

You ever notice that things can begin to spiral out of control at a rather alarming rate? Life seems to be going fine and then BAM all of a sudden you are smack dab in the middle of a downward spiral into oblivion and there is no foreseeable way out. You kind of get stuck and can only seem to get pulled deeper and deeper into this dark chasm of chaos. Chaos that doesn't seem to have any logical explanation. And you continue to wonder, how did I get here? Did I take a wrong turn somewhere and end up in the middle of hell.

Right now life seems to be just that...hell. Hell can be defined as a place of extreme suffering or chaos. Each person has their own definition and interpretation of what hell is all about. Individuals experience different types of hell and can express their frustrations or chaotic moments in a less than desirable form or fashion. Currently I am trying to sort through mine. Now my salvation and my personal walk with God is not in questions here. But life honestly sucks right now, my heart feels as though there is a gapping hole that can't be filled. I feel like my head is everywhere and not where it needs to be. I feel lonely and depressed, angry and frustrated, hurt and abandoned, replaced, jealous, envious, ugly, stupid, foolish, and the list continues.

Don't really know what I need to do to sort out all of the things going on in my life but right now I am not doing well. It always frustrates me when people try to mask what they are feeling but I am the guiltiest of them all. This is my mode of operation. All I do is cover up my feelings. I hid for being hurt. I hid for getting attached to anything, I freak out when people want to get close. I run at the hint of something going wrong. Everything inside of me says get out of there, it will never last. You can't do anything about the fact that it is going to end, so why try in the beginning. Now I know logically you would assume that I would try to encounter these problems head on and fix the situations or try to at least face my fear and trepidation, nope, WRONG...I run the other way like a gutless child. Why cause it is safer, it is easier to run and not deal with the way you are feeling. Sure after a good long cry or maybe a few good cries you pick yourself up and move on. You realize you and God can do it, so why worry about all of these other people who will be there today and gone tomorrow? Why worry when people have repeatedly told you that you are not worth it and have walked out of your life? Why? Why care when this happens?

Sorry to whoever will read this and think, wow...she must be in a bad spot. Honestly NO I am just hurting and don't really know how to sort through all the feelings going on inside. I feel lost and alone with a lot of pain. Don't rightly know how to encounter it all but tomorrow is another day. And what do they always say about a new day? It is the opportunity to start over and try something new. Look for the silver lining, right?

Please pray for me. Right now I am at a place of utter confusion and "hell-ish" circumstances.

Courage

So recently I have been thinking about what it means to be a follower of God and how challenging it can be for people to truly embody the calling God has placed on their lives. How scary it must be to truly step into the call God has laid before us? I know that I am terrified of what God has placed on my life. Each time I look at my life and think...REALLY? Really? That is what I need to do...are you sure?

But I realized something tonight as I went for a walk along the lovely seafront of Greystones, Ireland...I never remember fully the times God has asked me to do something and I have done it. Rather it is the times that I have specifically felt God asking me to do something and I have not done it that I remember most. I remember it like it was a kick in the stomach. In those moments I realized that God had asked me to do something and I looked at this calling and turned away. Turned away from a specific call...a call God had placed on my life for that specific time. So, when I reflect on those moments I want nothing more than to be in the center of my call. To be at the spot where GOD can use me most for His purpose, even when I do not know what that may mean or why I need to do this particular thing, I will do it because God has asked me to.

Now I know this is not something I will get right every time but ask long as I can keep trying then I know something important will happen in the long run. Don't know if this makes sense to anyone else or if this even makes sense to me but I was just thinking about it. So, feel free to discuss! :)

Blessed

Today I feel so incredibly blessed by all of the many wonderful gifts that God has provided in my life...the gift of friends, the gift of amazing weather in Ireland, the gift of food with friends, the gift of laughter, the gift of a walk, the gift of a good teammate, the gift of stability, the gift of freedom, the gift of a loving family, the gift of passion, and the list is endless...I truly feel blessed today.

The family that we go over to for lunch every Sunday has been wonderful and in so many ways contributed to the amazing time I have had in Ireland. Today at lunch they really challenged me to look at what I am doing in Ireland and to be challenged by the tasks ahead. Their constant love and support have helped me in so many ways while being here! :)

I love them all so very much!

A day...

so...I love being busy but at times I get extremely burnt out! Like all my energy, motivation, will power and strength is no more...it is depleted...not been this way in a while. It seems as though life is just getting faster and I am running out of steam! Like I have only finished 13 miles on a 26 mile race, half way done and hardly anything left to run with...where will the energy come for the last half? Where can I turn to?

Honestly, I want to say I automatically turn to God but at times I do not, I run! I tend to run in situations...I don't go and do anything I shouldn't, I just kinda stop...stop life in general, just sit and be or put off the things I know I should be doing to not do anything at all...BURNT OUT is exactly how I feel!

And yes, as my dad says burnt out is a feeling, feelings change and you get over them...yes, I know this is true as well but right now I am going to turn to God to help support me! It is difficult but doable...I just got to keep with the race and HE will give me HIS grace to finish the race! What more could I ask for? Sure I will be exhausted and shall crawl at times but HIS grace is the only thing that shall see me through and for that I am FOREVER thankful!

Banana frozen for about an hour does kinda taste like ice cream...well at least it will have to do for now...yummmy! :)

four days...

Only four days into Lent and I am already craving bread...never really ate much bread before but that is what I am craving...bread...wow. crazy.

Although some realizations:

- I am grateful for my meals, honestly, I love being able to eat what is before me

- THANKFUL for all the people who care and are willing to give me fruit for dessert

- feel refreshed but a little sluggish at times

- has found it difficult to focus on prayer recently but has been really distracted with life issues

- THANKFUL for grace...His GRACE

...

Hello Caffeine Headache, I was wondering when you would arrive! Just so you know, I will not compromise...there are things to be learned and issues to be dealt with, so leave. And leave quickly PLEASE! :) Thanks.

Dia Numero Uno :)

So, already I am tired but I think that may be the greasy take away I partook of last evening before Lent began. No wonder my body hates me for having fed it such horrible food.

Today marks day one of this Lent. It was a little interesting to find foods available to eat in Ireland or in most supermarkets because the average item purchased in a store contains any of the follow: sugar, yeast, preservatives, dairy, meat or yummy stuff....

It won't be that bad but I need to remember why I am doing this. Jesus died for me and lavishes grace and love on me every single day...for me to go without the worldly indulgences of certain foods is nothing compared to what he did for me. Throughout this season I pray that God will show me his will and provide clarity in my life!

Thoughts: What do you fix with beans?

Lenting...

During this time of year many people begin giving up things, chocolate, soda (fizzy drink), tv, facebook, movies, spending money on useless things, ice cream, junk food, and any other variety of things people give up for lent...

This year I have decided to proceed with the Daniel Fast for my lent journey. No, I am not Catholic and I do not believe that Lent is something that should be only for religious reasons. I am partaking in Lent this year because I desire further clarity in my life. Recently, I have noticed the quantity of junk or unnecessary items I place within my body by way of food consumption.

Why you ask am I choosing to give up dairy, proceed foods, white bread, meat and anything else I would usually eat on a daily basis? Simple...

Daniel 1:1-21

¹ In the third year of the reign of Jehoiakim king of Judah, Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon came to Jerusalem and besieged it. ² And the Lord delivered Jehoiakim king of Judah into his hand, along with some of the articles from the temple of God. These he carried off to the temple of his god in Babylonia and put in the treasure house of his god.

³ Then the king ordered Ashpenaz, chief of his court officials, to bring into the king’s service some of the Israelites from the royal family and the nobility— ⁴ young men without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king’s palace. He was to teach them the language and literature of the Babylonians. ⁵ The king assigned them a daily amount of food and wine from the king’s table. They were to be trained for three years, and after that they were to enter the king’s service.

⁶ Among those who were chosen were some from Judah: Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah. ⁷ The chief official gave them new names: to Daniel, the name Belteshazzar; to Hananiah, Shadrach; to Mishael, Meshach; and to Azariah, Abednego.

⁸ But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way. ⁹ Now God had caused the official to show favor and compassion to Daniel, ¹⁰ but the official told Daniel, “I am afraid of my lord the king, who has assigned your food and drink. Why should he see you looking worse than the other young men your age? The king would then have my head because of you.”

¹¹ Daniel then said to the guard whom the chief official had appointed over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, ¹²“Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. ¹³ Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see.” ¹⁴ So he agreed to this and tested them for ten days.

¹⁵ At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food. ¹⁶ So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead.

¹⁷ To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.

¹⁸ At the end of the time set by the king to bring them into his service, the chief official presented them to Nebuchadnezzar. ¹⁹ The king talked with them, and he found none equal to Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah; so they entered the king’s service. ²⁰ In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom.

²¹ And Daniel remained there until the first year of King Cyrus.

Now I am not necessarily asking that God provide dreams and wisdom that he gave to Daniel but I am on a journey of discovery. I want to seek God's will for my life and give Him space to work in me. There are several things in my life that I need help with, things I need clarity on, things that only God may give me an answer to, and things I hope to be challenged with.

So, for the next 46 days I will be on a fruits, vegetables, and water fast. Throughout my fasting time I hope to look at how this fast will affect me mentally, physically, spiritually, socially, and financially. I am going to try and update this on a regular basis throughout Lent to keep track on my own progress but also to be able to have a record of the peaks or valleys or both. Plus, I can post really fun recipes on here for the things I have created. The link at the end of this post is a link to a Daniel Fast website, so if you would like to take a look, feel free and enjoy! :)

THE JOURNEY BEGINS WITH A SINGLE STEP OR IN MY CASE A TUMMY FULL OF PANCAKES, It has been a wonderful "PANCAKE DAY" in the Republic of Ireland.

http://www.daniel-fast.com/

"Are you listening?"

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to whom who knocks it will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8

Pulled...

Daily living can be exhausting at times because there are so many demands for your time, energy, money, opinion, and knowledge that at the end of the day, you are left completely depleted. So many individuals desire a piece of you and continue to consume your energy or resources until you are rendered useless. Now this is not everyone and this is not all the time but on occasion it can seem that individuals are more concerned with their own agenda. Society has a way of demanding your conformity and desires individuals to follow the mass for more wealth, a nicer house, personal agendas, ladder climbing, and your basic societal influences, which I do not want to succumb to the masses.

One of my favorite movies of recent is "What a Girl wants." I know, I know it is a girly chick flick but I LOVE it...and it has provided me with loads of good laughs. My favorite quote from the movie is, "Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?" Wow...what an awesome quote, I think I rewound it a couple of times to watch it again and again. It really spoke to me, why would I desire conformity to this world's standards? Why would I want to follow what the crowd desires for me? My only true ambition should be to follow the calling God has placed on my life. Now, this sounds easy enough ,right? WRONG!

Wrong, wrong, wrong....I get in my own head! I try to focus on where I need to go and what I need to do in relation to what God has called me to do. God has called me to find my identity and security in Him and Him alone. Yeah, easier said than done. At times I become down trodden with the "desires" of society and think about what I would want or not want out of my life, and then I get in my own head and things begin to go crazy. I mean I do have desires and wants but life can bog me down sometimes...just got to remember to stay positive. NOT to lose focus and to keep on keeping on! :)

Just random pondering. Don't worry I do love life and am learning to be content with where I am!

A life...well lived.

You

cannot enter a situation and leave unchanged. Oh, how this year shall leave me forever changed. Lord, I know you know best, now please fill me in.

Random text messages...

God is completely awesome! At times, I begin to doubt my purpose or my reason for being here in Ireland. Why did God bring me here? Why did I accept to go here? Was this of my own volition or does God have specific plans for me being here? And, if so God would show me the way.

I begin doubting the direction of my life and the reasons for me always pursuing international ministry opportunities, half of the time I wonder if I even know what I am doing. God, would you please show me the way?

Then I step back and realize that God answers prayer through still small voices and quiet text messages from people you have not heard from in a while. This morning I was praying about a friend down in Gorey, who I have not talked to in a while and I didn't know if I should text her or not. So, I left and went to meet a friend for coffee. After I got home, I was sitting working on things for 365M and my phone went off. Leaving it sit for a while, I kinda forgot about my phone. Then I remembered I had received a message, upon looking at the message, I was ecstatic to see the message was from my friend in Gorey. Honestly, I had to just smile because God answers random silent prayers or passing thoughts in ways I can hardly imagine. Not only has this happened this time but on other occasions as well.

Each time I have questioned or thought about my friend in Gorey after not hearing from her in a while, I have been surprised with a text message later that day. So, each time we text back and forth and then I thank God for all of His many blessings. Remember to pray for those people who come to your mind and that you have not talked to in a while...you never know what God may be doing in their lives! :)

Praise God!